


Screw first times, I wanna be your last

by how_to_sit_gay



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-16 02:53:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_to_sit_gay/pseuds/how_to_sit_gay
Summary: Collection of unrelated 5+1 type oneshots from prompts I received on tumblr about our fave gay criminalsRatings, tags, etc will be in the notes in the beginning of each chapter





	1. 5 times Lou cooked for Debbie, and one time Debbie almost burned the loft down by trying to reciprocate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated T, food is their love language, sarcasm is the other one, it's canon that Debbie is useless in the kitchen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt by loumillerlesbian

i.

Lou poked her tongue out, brows furrowed in deep concentration. She should’ve known that literally everything looked easier on the television screen than it was in real life. Still, she was determined.

“Whatcha doing?”

Suddenly, a brown mop of hair appeared right over her shoulder, almost making her drop the knife in her hands with the voice close to her ear. Too close, no, _too close for comfort_. Lou allowed herself a second to regroup before she put a few inches more distance between herself and Debbie.

“I’m trying something.”

“I can see that. What brought this on, not in the mood for lo mein tonight?”

She met Debbie’s raised eyebrow with an unimpressed face. “I can’t remember the last time we had something other that take out or scammed our way through some diners.”

“And that’s a problem how?”

“This can’t be healthy on the long run.”

“Since when do you care for healthy?” Debbie pointedly looked between her and the pack of cigarettes on the counter.

_Since I started to care too much for you._

Banishing the truth from the tip of her tongue, Lou grappled for something else to subdue her friend’s curiosity. “Dunno, just… I wanted to try something I saw on the telly.”

“Well, I’m intrigued”, Debbie confessed and stole a piece of carrot from the cutting board, dodging Lou’s hand swatting after her in the process, “Just beware of the consequences.”

“Consequences?”

“Yep”, Debbie hopped onto the counter next to her, still munching on the vegetable, “if I like what you’re doing, I might force you to cook more often.”

Lou let her hair fall into her face, trying to hide the small smile forming on her lips. “You can’t force me, Ocean, but I might do it anyway if you ask nicely enough.”

 

 

ii.

Gently, she put a hand to Debbie’s forehead, only to wince and grimace shortly after. “You’re running a fever.”

Growling, the Ocean swatted Lou’s hand away. “I told you I’m fine.”

This only earned her a very unconvinced look. “You almost keeled over seconds ago when you tried to get up.”

“I lost my balance, is all.”

Shaking her head, Lou put her hands on both of Debbie’s shoulders and pushed her back on the couch and down into the cushions. Even without the flash of pain in her brown eyes, the lack of resistance would have given Debbie away.

“Whatever you say, I’ll still make you a soup or something, which _of course_ has nothing to do with you being sick.”

The Ocean’s protests were drowned out by a sea of coughs and subsequent wincing, Lou’s heart constricting painfully in her chest at the sound. This was only the second time Debbie had come down with a cold since they’d known each other, but Lou had already learned last time that the Ocean was a terrible patient.

Generally, Debbie being sick could be divided in three phases: One, acting like nothing was wrong and being completely ignorant of the signals her body was sending her. Two, still denying anything and fighting off help despite being clearly sick and getting weaker by the minute. Three, accepting her fate and whining every waking minute about the cruelty of the universe. Currently, she was right in the middle of stage two.

Quickly, Lou put everything together she needed for a good old-fashioned chicken soup. For a second she contemplated the pre-made chicken stock in her hands, before she finally placed it beside the other ingredients. She very much preferred cooking from scratch by now, but under these circumstances time was the key factor.

Fifteen minutes later, a steaming hot bowl in her hands, she came back to the living room, the Ocean looking almost dead to the world. Carefully, Lou settled down beside her and held the already filled spoon to her face. “Open up.”

Debbie glared wordlessly back and forth between Lou’s face and the proffered soup before finally giving in, closing her eyes in bliss at that bit of taste she got despite her clogged up nose. Once the bowl was empty, the Ocean settled back into her pillow without complaining - a small success if you’d ask Lou, maybe stage 3 wasn’t that far away - her eyes drooping.

Smiling fondly, the Australian stroked over her still heated up forehead, then got up to clean up the kitchen.

“Love you.”

Lou stopped dead in her tracks at the meek whisper. Was her imagination playing tricks on her? Heart beating rapidly, she turned around, just to find Debbie already sprawled on the couch, out like a light. She took a deep breath. Probably just a fever dream talking.

 

 

iii.

Debbie poked her head out of the bedroom, the divine smell filling their apartment having roused her from her nap. Eyes wide, she took in the image before her. The table had already been set, candles and all, and Lou was flitting from one cupboard to the next, her hips swaying subtly to the quiet music coming from the stereo.

Carefully, as not to startle her, Debbie walked up behind her, pressing a kiss to her neck.

“What did I do to earn this? ... Wait” she narrowed her eyes suspiciously “what did _you_ do?”

Lou turned around from where she was currently stirring the gravy and rolled her eyes. “Deb, just sit your ass down at the table, will you? This isn’t some bullshit hetero trope where the man feels guilty about something and therefore tries to be super nice.”

“Did you just call yourself the man in this relationship? That’s very heteronormative of you.”

She had just started to make her way over to the table, when strong arms encircled her from behind, Lou's lips finding the shell of her ear, her voice a low growl.

“Like hell I did, but I’m definitely the one wearing the strap more often.”

The hardness pressing against her ass ripped a surprised gasp from Debbie, heat immediately pooling between her legs making it difficult to utter a coherent thought. So she could do nothing but whimper and push herself impossibly closer against Lou.

“I’m glad you’re hungry, love, dinner is almost ready.” And just like that she was gone again, leaving Debbie shivering in the middle of the apartment to flip the rump steak.

By sheer force of will, she made her legs move again and finally plopped down on a chair, anticipation for _dessert_ racing through her veins. Collecting her thoughts, she realised she still hadn’t gotten a proper answer to her question.

“While I’m more than happy about it, I’d still like to know what brought on this… whatever it is.”

Shaking her head, the Australian turned around again to face Debbie, whose eyes instantly flitted down to the bulge in her pants. It always made her mouth go dry how Lou managed to act that casually when packing.

“Eyes up here, Ocean”, came the command from the blonde, making heat rise to Debbie’s cheek at being caught staring, “Are you really telling me, mastermind Deborah Ocean forgot our anniversary?”

Like a flip had been switched, Debbie’s face went from red to ashen. Lou watched the scene unfold in front of her for a moment, enjoying how the Ocean squirmed under her piercing gaze, before a devilish grin formed on her lips.

“Don’t worry, babe, I think I can come up with a punishment.”

 

 

iv.

Dabbing her mouth with a napkin, Debbie let herself fall back into her chair with a satisfied groan and placed her hand on her visibly full belly.

“God I missed this, you haven’t cooked for me since-” realising how the sentence would end, shame flooded her veins and she trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken.

A flash of remembrance and hurt passed through Lou’s blue eyes, clouding them over for a second before she caught herself again, just a slight twinge in her voice giving her away.  “Yeah, well. Don’t flatter yourself, tho, I’m just practising.”

“For what?”

“The Met?”

That answered exactly nothing in the Ocean’s book. “I don’t get it.”

“Debs, you assigned me to be the nutritionist, there is more to that than standing in the back room and looking at the meal plan”, the blonde explained slowly, waiting for the pieces to fall into place.

And truly, Debbie looked like she was having an epiphany. Excitedly, she started stabbing the air with her fork for emphasis. “So, you’re saying that you actually have a hand in the menu and-”

“- and you’re my guinea pig to see if I came up with anything decent, yes.”

Debbie blinked twice, Lou’s words sinking in slowly, before a broad grin spread on her face. “My God, I’m a genius!”

“You’re known to believe that, but why this time?”

“Cos I not only gave you the perfect job in the heist, but also outside of it. I kinda conned you into cooking all this amazing stuff without even realising it! It’s genius, you have to admit.”

“Another asterisk, well done.” Immediately, all air was knocked from the Ocean’s lungs. Lou regarded her with tired eyes for a second, then got up to put away her plate. “This was Kluger’s meal, by the way, so count yourself lucky I refrained from testing the vomitive as well.”

In a desperate attempt to say just anything, Debbie rebutted sarcastically. “You’re too good to me.”

“I know.”

It came out soft, but in the way Lou held herself, her back ramrod straight, shoulders tense ready to either run or fight, Debbie felt catapulted back to their argument at the beach. She wanted to reach out, hold this amazing woman close, kiss her senseless until she understood how much she meant to her - always had - but she just sat in silence as Lou brushed past her and up the stairs.

“It’s your turn to do the dishes.”

 

 

v.

Debbie was just about to bounce down the stairs like an excited school kid. “Is that saltimbocca I’m smelling?”

Quiet laughter reached her from the kitchen area. “With garlic pasta on the side, just how you like it.”

“My God, you’re the best!” Fuelled by excitement, Debbie crossed the floor and looped her arms around the blonde from behind, pressing a kiss to where her hair just touched her neck. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Lou shrugged before signalling with a tap on the back of Debbie’s hand for her to move to the side. “I just felt like reminiscing.”

She noticed the confusion on the Ocean’s face and couldn’t hold back a fond smile. “It was the first meal I ever cooked for you.”

“You still remember that?”

“Yeah, cos you’re the reason I started cooking in the first place.”

She didn’t even have the time to hide behind her hair, as she was pressed against the kitchen counter by Debbie’s lean body, her hands buried in Lou’s blond strands keeping her firmly in place for a rough kiss. When Debbie pulled back, her brown eyes were positively sparkling. “I love you.”

Again, Lou could do nothing but smile. “Yeah, yeah. Now get your ass on the couch and pick a movie, I’ll be over in a sec.”

Reluctantly, she complied. Still, as Lou finally made her way over, plates in hand, she couldn’t resist reaching up and pulling the Australian into a kiss before she even had the chance to sit down. “You’re spoiling me.”

“Is that a complaint?”

“Never.”

“Good, cos you kinda gave me 38 million dollars, so I think we’re even now.”

Debbie was just about to reply - or rather engage her in another fierce kiss - when the front door barged open, revealing a very eager young Asian woman.

“Oh wow that smells ah-may-zing!”

With a quiet thud but an even louder groan, Debbie’s head met Lou’s shoulder. “I swear to God this girl can smell food three miles against the wind.”

“Not only that, she’s also sharing her one brain cell with at least two other people”, the Australian replied blanky as Amita and Nine Ball filed in right after her, immediately agreeing with Constance’s statement.

By now, Debbie’s groan had turned into a whine, and Lou just patted her head expertly. “Shall I hide the garlic pasta before they find it?”

“Please.”

 

 

i.

Setting the fire extinguisher down, Lou warily eyed the mess that now was their kitchen.

“So, was this your plan all along or did you hope for a different outcome?”

Debbie was the picture of misery, sitting on the closest chair, face buried in her hands. “I’m sorry.”

A heavy sigh tumbling from her lips, Lou went over to her and ran her fingers through her messy brown strands in reassurance. When she finally felt Debbie relaxing under her ministrations, she spoke up again.

“It’s okay, baby, nothing that can’t be fixed. But while I really appreciate your efforts, I do have to ask… why didn’t you ask me to help you?”

Only faint mumbling could be heard from behind the Ocean’s hands, her posture growing more slouched by the second. Heaving a sigh, Lou abandoned her place next to her and knelt down between her legs, prying her hands away to look into guilty brown eyes.

Finding nothing but sympathy instead of anger in Lou’s gaze, Debbie finally cracked. “I wanted it to be special.”

“There is no anniversary or anything today.”

“But there could be.”

Lou knitted her brows in confusion. “...I’m not sure I’m following.”

Debbie chuckled quietly to herself. “This is completely the wrong position, but…”, she removed one of her hands from Lou’s grip to fumble for her backpocket, coming back with a diamond-topped ring, “... I wanted to ask you to marry me.”

Utterly dumbstruck, Lou looked repeatedly back and forth between the Ocean’s face and the ring in her hand. She really wanted to be patient, but the anticipation and dread within her were growing with every passing second, so Debbie finally caved, pleadingly.

“Say something, please.”

“Did you st-”

“Of course I didn’t steal it!”

“This ring could pay for the damaged kitchen and then some.”

“Lou! My God!”

“Don’t you mean ‘my _fiancée_ ’?”

A beat, then Debbie groaned in a mix of elation and exasperation. “Why can’t you say yes like a normal person?”

“Why can’t you propose without almost burning the loft down and having _me_ kneel before _you_?”

“I’m regretting this already.”

“Well, no take backs”, Lou rebutted and took the ring from Debbie’s hand to put it on her finger before getting back to her feet with a wince. “You’ll regret this even more when I make you clean up this mess, but right now”, she pulled Debbie to her feet and into the direction of the stairs, a feral glint in her eyes, “there is something else we need to take care of first.”


	2. 5 times Debbie witnessed Lou (accidentally) flirting with a team member and 1 time she had enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating M or E-ish (I don't know where to draw the line), accidental flirting, yes it is possible to do that accidentally, flirting just comes natural to Lou, jealous!Debbie, Debbie spends 90 % of this seething in the back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is related to syd's prompt "5 times Debbie had to watch Lou flirting with someone else and 1 time she did something about it", I thought this might be a funny and interesting take on it
> 
> (I actually looked up the weather in NYC for last year's May for this)

i.

“ _Oh, what about Tammy?”_

 

Debbie should’ve been suspicious at the way Lou had said Tammy’s name, she figured, hearing some layers and nuances in her voice that hadn’t been there before she had gone to prison. Still, she had been glad to finally find a not only good but also reliable fence, Tammy being a long-time friend just an added bonus.

But now, watching Lou’s face go from impassive to somewhere between happy and smitten (Lou Miller being smitten by someone? That was unheard of.) when Tammy walked through the door, well, that made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. What followed up didn’t exactly help either.

“My my, the cat dragged in a particularly pretty bird today!”

Tammy moved in closer - was that a sway to her hips Debbie was seeing there? -, dropped her bag right in front of Lou’s feet, and placed her hands on her hips, projecting the living image of a clearly not amused mother.

“If you’re trying charm your way back on my good side after letting Debbie lose to rope me in, you’ll have to step up your game.”

Lou wasn’t deterred one bit by that. Slowly, she let her eyes roam up and down Tammy’s figure with a sly smile gracing her lips. “From my angle it seems I’m still on that side.”

“You’re exhausting.” Intending to put her bag away, Tammy turned away with a huff, earning her yet another comment.

“This side is good as well, so I guess I can only win.”

Shaking her head fondly, Tammy faced her once more. “There’s nothing to win here for you, no matter how hard you try.”

“Oh honey, you know how persistent I can be.”

Finally, Debbie had heard and seen enough. “Did I miss something in my absence?”

The following silence and exchanged glances between the blondes made her stomach churn more than any words could have. Clenching her teeth, she decided she really didn’t need to see the end of this scene, so she stood up with more force than necessary and stomped to the stairs.

“Fine. I don’t want to know anyway.”

 

 

 

ii.

“Okay, sit down and breathe, I’m gonna make you some tea.”

At hearing Lou’s worried tone, Debbie peered over the rim of her book as inconspicuous as she could to where the blonde was pushing Rose down onto a chair, narrowing her eyes at the way Lou’s hand lingered on the designer’s shoulder a tad too long for her liking. Nevertheless, while Lou was in the kitchen preparing, she kept an eye on Rose who seemed to be quite distressed, eyes flitting nervously back and forth and hands shaking subtly.

Just as she was thinking about trying to calm her down as well, Lou came back with two steaming mugs in her hands and placed them on the table while sitting down, subsequently scooting closer to the designer. Unfortunately for Debbie, both woman resumed their conversation in hushed tones, too quiet to hear from her position on the couch.

As it turned out, it was probably for the better she wasn’t able to eavesdrop properly, Lou’s body language did just enough to make her bristle from her seat.

Maybe she was just trying to comfort Rose during her most recent break down, but was it really necessary to lean in and stay that close? What happened to comforting people with just words? By the time Lou had tucked a stray lock back behind Rose’s ear, Debbie was seething.

Rose in turn let the mug slip from her hands, letting it land of the table with a little too much force. Usually, Debbie would’ve snorted at Rose’s overwhelmed expression if it weren’t for Lou’s hand still on her shoulder.

“Stop it, Lou, you’re giving her a heart attack, and hospital bills are not included in the 20 grand estimate.”

The blonde turned around at that, her eyebrows disappearing completely behind her bangs. “Look who decided to butt in from the sidelines. Tell me, what exactly should I stop doing?”

_Shit._

Like a deer caught in the headlights, she fumbled for words to fill the expanding silence. “Just… that.”

A bemused smirk. “That?”

“Yes, that.” This clearly wasn’t one of her better moments right there.

Lou contemplated her for a moment, then clicked her tongue. “I see.”

Panic crept up the Ocean’s throat at the prospect of being caught, but the blonde just turned around in her seat again and resumed to grant Rose her undivided attention. To save herself from further embarrassment, Debbie slunk up the stairs as quietly as she could, the cogs in her mind being on overdrive all the while.

She just hoped Lou didn’t in fact _see_.

 

 

iii.

Debbie had to admit, she was impressed. Of course she had known that everything would work out as long as she got Lou on board even before she had gotten out, but seeing a plan unfold in real life, right before her eyes, even more seamlessly than she could’ve imagined? That was a kind of endorphin high you get very rarely in your life.

Barely keeping the satisfied grin from her lips, she toyed with the colourful fake jewels in her hand. “This is brilliant.”

“I know right? If we had had one of these in the store, I maybe would’ve been able to move out much sooner”, Amita admitted, gazing wistfully at the 3D printer before looking back at Debbie, “When will we tell the others about this?”

“This part is still and will stay top secret until the end, alright? The only people in on it are you and I, and-”

“Nice rocks you got there!” Speaking of the devil.

Immediately commanding every last bit of attention in the room onto herself, Lou wedged her way between the two women - completely ignoring Debbie’s protests on her way - to get a good look at the assortment of gems on the table. Playfully, Debbie cuffed her in the side.

“Could you be any louder? I don’t need the others to hear this.”

“You can take me outta Australia, but you can’t take Australia outta me, honey. And there’s no one in the loft except for us, so don’t get your panties in a twist” Lou replied with a lopsided grin that in turn led to a familiar and pleasant twist in Debbie’s gut.

She was just thinking about laying her head on top of the blonde’s shoulder, their closeness making her feel slightly dizzy against her better judgement, when Lou decided to take a jewel out of Amita’s hand. Unnecessarily slow. Almost covering her whole hand. Lingering.

To make matters worse, her voice seemed to have dropped half an octave, too. “Now, let me see your amazing work, Amita.”

Throwing a wink in to the mix as well, and Amita was positively blushing before looking away shyly. Apparently not even the straightest team member of them all was immune to Lou’s charm. Debbie couldn’t really blame her. Still.

If she shoved a bit too harshly against Lou’s shoulder when turning around and walking away, practically feeling from the scene, it most certainly was just an accident.

 

 

iv.

This was such a good day, if you’d ask her. The sun was shining, temperature climbing over 80 degrees, and the Met was packed with just the right amount of people for her to do her job properly and without causing suspicions. Debbie looked at the display in her hands, satisfied beyond compare. “Twelve feet. Good job. Thank you, Nine Ball!”

“That easy, don' mention it."

She heard Lou pipe up in the background. “What’s hard?”

Curious for the answer, she stayed on the line. However, only silence filled her ear. Thinking they had already hung up, she was on her way to switch of the headset, until she heard Lou’s sultry laugh. “I see. But don’t worry, I might be able to give you some pointers there.”

Somewhere between the Egyptian and the American wing, Debbie bristled, jaw set almost painfully. The number of team members she could leave Lou alone with dwindled down to zero way too quickly for her liking. She could still hear them talking and laughing, but not what they were actually saying. Either they were covering the microphone or had turned down the volume just to spite her. Clearly fed up, she groaned.

“Can you please keep it professional and in your pants?”

“Always so demanding”, Lou tsked, loud enough for her to hear at last, “Or we could just turn off the transmission, right Nine?” Debbie could picture her smug face all too vividly.

A low chuckle resounded in her ear. “Sure thing. Or d’ya got a voyeuristic streak, boss?”

Far away from their prying eyes, Debbie pinched the bridge of her nose and told herself to count down from ten. “Is it even voyeuristic if I don’t actually watch?”

This just earned her another laugh from Lou’s side. “That is not an answer to our question.”

Fuck counting down. “I don’t care. Thanks again, Nine.” And with that, she cut the call.

Fuming, she stepped out of the Met into the sunshine, just to realise that she had forgotten her sunglasses at the loft. To add insult to injury, she’d probably have to take the damn F train again. This was a shit day after all.

 

 

v.

She was just about to scold Constance for skating over the main floor from her position on the couch, when Lou seemingly appeared out of nowhere, stopping the girl with a firm grasp on her neck.

“What is the rule about indoor skating, young lady?”

Like a cat grabbed by its collar, Constance went still in Lou’s grip, defeat evident in her features. “No skating on the hardwood floor allowed otherwise you’ll beat my ass”, she droned devoid of any emotion.

“Exactly, so, you can continue your little exercise outside. But, since I’m having a good day so far and it’ll get you outside even faster, you may use your board to get there. Just this once - understood?”

Immediately, Constance shook off the hand in her neck and hopped on the offending piece of wood again. “Thanks, Dad… dy!”

Lou just laughed, eyes twinkling with mirth. “Be careful what you wish for, short-ass”, she shoved the young woman forward, “Now get your ass out here before I reconsider!”

Kicking off and pushing her tongue out at the blonde, Constance rolled off, the fading whirr of her wheels on the hardwood trailing after her.

Shaking her head, Lou flopped down on the couch next to Debbie with a fond smile on her lips. The Ocean literally bit her tongue to keep herself from saying whatever grumpy thing was on her mind, but she lost the internal battle in the end.

“You’re robbing the cradle now?” Debbie had really wanted it to come out casual, but the obvious distaste in her voice made even herself wince.

“Huh?”

Another try for sounding unaffected. “She’s like half your age, tops.”

Judging by the look on Lou’s face, she had failed again. “This is getting ridiculous, Deb. Everytime I as much as talk to the others you’re getting all moody. Wanna share something with the class, or…?”

Her voice carried annoyance with it, but when Debbie looked up into her blue eyes, she noticed something else lying beyond. Was that… hope? Whatever it was, it was pulling her in and she was just about to spill everything, when jealousy and pride reared their ugly heads again and she huffed defiantly.

Instantly, Lou’s face closed off again. “Whatever, Debbie.”

Gripping her mug tighter to keep herself from reaching out, she watched Lou get up and walk away. When the Australian was finally out of sight, she let her head fall back, groaning quietly.

Why wasn’t this getting any easier?

 

 

i.

It might have been a good idea to get Daphne on board for the heist to cover their collective asses, yet apart from that it grated on Debbie’s nerves. Not Daphne per se - which might come as a surprise to some - but how she batted her eyelashes and played coy around Lou, who in turn bestowed more than enough winks and her attention on her for her efforts. On that brunette, dark-eyed woman that was not her. Debbie was somewhere between throwing up and asking Lou if she needed to see an eye doctor.

In the end, she just snapped, as simple as that.

After witnessing another display of their back and forth, she pulled Lou off the couch and outside the backdoor with a strength she didn’t even know she possessed. By the look on her face, the blonde was just as surprised. Until Debbie opened her mouth.

“For the love of God, won’t you ever stop?!”

“Stop what?”

“Flirting with everyone on the team _but me_!”

The last two words of that sentence definitely hadn’t been supposed to be spoken out loud. She didn’t know who was more surprised at her outburst, both women looking at each other with wide eyes, but Debbie for her part wanted nothing more than to grab the words and put them back into her mouth and swallow them whole, never to be seen again. That was, until she saw Lou’s gaze turn from surprised to understanding to heated.

“I fucking knew it, you stubborn-ass motherfucker.”

Debbie prepared herself for a fight, but instead found herself pressed against the closest wall, Lou’s thigh between her legs and her lips on hers in a rough kiss, swallowing the surprised moan right off her. It did take all but two seconds for her body to act on instinct and she tangled her hands in blond strands, pulling her impossibly closer, while hitching her left leg up on Lou’s hip, searching for more friction.

Lou moved to attack the Ocean’s neck with a low growl.

“You’re such an idiot -”

Fingers opening her pants.

“-being jealous for nothing-”

A hand pushing inside her panties.

“-instead of just-”

Cupping her wetness.

“-saying something!”

Right as Debbie wanted to speak up and point out she had actually said something or other, two fingers pressed into her without any resistance, her head falling back against the bricks in response, hands grappling for purchase on Lou’s shoulders, a guttural sound ripped from her throat. This wasn’t exactly how she had pictured it to happen, but she couldn’t really care as Lou set up a relentless rhythm, having her tethering on the edge in next to no time.

She was so close to lose herself in the sensations of the moment, when Lou’s lips wandered up from her neck to her ear.

“Why should I want anyone else but you?”

The quiet words together with a rough flick against her clit sent her over the edge and she came hard on Lou’s fingers, white blotches tainting her vision as she cried out. When she felt the blonde pull away, she slowly started coming back to herself.

Eyes still dark, Lou fixed her with an otherwise indecipherable look as she wiped her fingers off on her leather pants. “So?”

“So… I was being an idiot the whole time?”

“Very much so.”

They fell silent again, calming their reeling nerves, taking the other in, saying everything with looks that they failed to say out loud. Sighing, Lou began putting Debbie’s clothes back into place, then pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “See you inside. Hopefully with less jealousy than you have displayed the last weeks.”

The wink that accompanied the blonde’s words evoked a pleasant warmth inside her and by the time Debbie spoke up again, Lou had already rounded the corner. She whispered the words anyway.

“I think I can do that.”

 


	3. 5 (+2) times people thought they were a couple when they weren't and 1 time they actually were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated T, very mild sexual references, swearing, idiots to lovers, how people can be so blind is beyond me, humor and despair - so life basically, homophobic slurs (in part vi)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt by whiterose-blackrose
> 
> the once in a lifetime thing happened and I was struck with too many ideas and couldn't decide, that's why it's actually 7+1 for this (also shoutout to loumillerlesbian for constantly poking me into the right direction inspiration-wise)

i.

“Y’know what’s the saddest part about you growing up?”

Reluctantly,  Debbie averted her eyes from where Lou was working on Danny’s old motorcycle. “That I’ve grown up to be prettier than you ever hoped to be?”

“Nah, this will never happen, I got my  prime still ahead of me. That I just can’t prop my elbow up on your head anymore - that’s what pains me almost physically.” Danny raised his beer in a mock salute, smug grin impossibly wide on his face.

A copy of that smirk on her own lips, Debbie replied sweetly “That’s cos you’re old.”

This earned her a playful hit to her shoulder before he looked back into the direction of his bike, taking Debbie’s attention - at least visually - with him. Silence fell between them as they watched Lou assemble and disassemble some parts, covering her fingers in a good amount of grease in the process.

“So, how long has this been going on?”

Confused, Debbie knitted her brows but refused to look away from the blonde. “What do you mean?”

“You two.”

“Oh, Lou and I?”, Debbie shrugged casually, “We’ve been doing some scams and small cons for a few months now. Maybe four or something.”

A low chuckle escaped Danny before he nipped on his bottle. “I thought as much, she seems like she knows her stuff - not only about bikes I might add. But that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean? I’m not exactly following”, she rolled her eyes, growing more impatient by the second.

Danny gave her a long look, assessing if his little sister was actually serious. To his amusement, she apparently was.

“Oh Dee-Dee, really? You really wanna tell me that there is nothing going on between you two?”, he barely could contain his laughter at her scandalised look, “my God, a blind man can see you two eye-fucking each other from a mile away!”

“Danny! What the fuck, no!”, she hissed at him, willing away the warmth creeping up her cheeks, “We’re not like that!”

The older Ocean shook his head, putting the empty beer to the side before getting up and stretching his arms over his head afterwards. “Whatever you say. Just tell me when I have to get my shovel talk ready.”

Before she could argue any further, he made his way over to the bike, Debbie hot on his heels to make sure he wouldn’t breathe a single word of their conversation to Lou.

 

 

ii.

“Thanks for holding back on my behalf, there are things I really don’t need to see.”

Debbie turned to where Tammy was currently toying with the label of her bottle. “Holding back what?”

“PDA, the whole shebang. Even though the eye-fucking makes me feel slightly unwelcome.”

Debbie groaned and let her head fall back against the cushions. “Oh please, not you too!”

To her demise, this was exactly the second Lou chose to return from the kitchen. “Who does what too?”

“I think Debbie means tha-” Tammy didn’t get far with Debbie being on her in an instant and covering her mouth with her hand, earning both of them a skeptical eyebrow raise from Lou.

“How old are you two again?”

“Old enough to have our secrets, don’t you think so, too, Tam-Tam?” She shot the blonde a warning glare, hoping the message would get into her thick skull. To her satisfaction and the comfort of her wildly beating heart, Tammy nodded with wide eyes.

Shaking her head for good measure, the Australian grabbed her coat. “Well, you can keep your secrets, I’m out for the night.”

“What? Where’re you going?” Tammy hardly suppressed a laugh at the shocked expression on her friend’s face.

“Remember that chick from like four nights ago? She wanted to meet again”, the blonde shrugged, “So you two have fun and do nothing I wouldn’t do.”

“Will you be gone the whole night?”

The smirk she received made something deep in Debbie’s stomach clench - she didn’t really know hot to interpret it and it unnerved her. Lou added another wink just for the fun of it and sauntered off. “Don’t worry, darling, you’ll have me back for breakfast.”

As soon as the door had fallen closed behind Lou, Tammy turned to the Ocean with a force that almost gave her whiplash. “What the hell was that?”

“I could ask you the same damn thing!”

They stared each other down for good measure until finally Tammy relented. “So you’re actually not together?”

The Ocean huffed indignantly. “No. Why does everyone think that?”

“Oh, maybe because of the way you constantly undress each other with your eyes, the neverending lingering touches, the unusual softness to your voice when you talk to her”, Tammy barely evaded a literal throw pillow without missing beat, “But, who else?”

“Danny.”

The blonde clicked her tongue. “Can’t blame him, while his brain might not always be working properly, his eyes certainly do.”

“You’re both idiots and overinterpreting. We’re not like that.”

“Okay, if you say so. Can have a go at her, then?”

“Fuck you, no.”

 

 

iii.

“Yo, Miller, your wife is here to pick you up!”

At the sudden shout, the last and final dish for this night’s shift almost slipped her soapy fingers. “The fuck?”

“Oh I’m sorry, I mean your girlfriend. Even tho you two got the married couple thing down to a T.”

She didn’t need to look at him to see the stupid expression on his face. Same shit, different day.

“If you mean Debbie I will personally waterboard you with this very sink here. The water’s still hot, you’ll like it.”

“Sheesh, what got your panties in a twist like that?”

A sickly-sweet smile on her face, she slapped the dish towel down and turned around. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just grating on my patience that ever since you cunts have seen Debbie you won’t stop pestering me with this girlfriend shit.”

The boy held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, not everyone. Chase is still trying to hit on her every chance he gets.”

“Not making it better there, dude.”

“Why? Afraid your not-girlfriend will run off with him?”

Lou was ready to slap the smug grin off his face with the dish scrubber. “Come closer, Rick, the sink’s missing your face.”

“Yeah, can I get a raincheck on that? Your shift’s over.” And with that, he pushed her into the direction of the staff lockers. She’d let him get away with it this time, she wanted nothing more than to leave anyway.

Back in her street clothes, Lou entered the bar area and Debbie immediately shifted her attention from Chase to her, a soft smile spreading on her lips. “Hey, ready?”

Lou gave a long-suffering groan. “More than. Two minutes more with these idiots and I’m ready to impinge on the Geneva Convention.”

“I don’t think waterboarding is part of that!” came the immediate shout from the doorframe of the kitchen area, giving Rick’s feeble attempt at spying away.

For a second, she contemplated just raising her middle finger and be done with it, but then she decided to turn around, head cocked to the side, and pinned him with an unimpressed stare. “This argument is _not_ working in your favour, asshat.”

Before her coworker could reply, Debbie had gently grabbed her arm to link it with hers and steered her into the direction of the exit. “Do I want to know?”

She could practically feel the shit-eating grins of the two boys burning into the back of her skull.

“Nope, you really don’t.”

 

 

iv.

She was just in the middle of chatting up this pretty hot redhead, when Debbie popped up behind her, whispering into her ear the current state of her night’s achievements so far. Before the Ocean could disappear again, Lou grabbed her wrist and pulled her in again, admonishing her not to get too greedy.

Raising her voice loud enough to be heard over the music, the woman opposite her leaned in close to her with a slightly unamused expression. “It would’ve been nice if you’d mentioned right away you already got a girlfriend.”

Lou went rigid in an instant, knowing that Debbie was still standing close to her and could possibly hear what the woman had said. The resulting groan right behind her confirmed her worst fears. Still, she tried to cover it up with a dramatic eye roll and a vehement “We’re not a couple!”

The redhead looked them up and down and took in their equally annoyed expressions, her voice softening. “I take it you get that often?”

“Yes.”

At their unisono reply, both women looked at each other with wide eyes. Lou was the first to break the awkward silence. “You too?”

“I was just about to ask the same thing.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“We really give off that vibe, then.”

“Seems like it. But I don’t get why, do you?”

“Nah, people are weird, right?”

“Definitely.”

“So…”

“Yeah…”

Completely forgotten, neither of them acknowledged the woman slipping off her stool with a huff and disappearing into the crowd again.

“Well, I’m gonna grab some more on the dance floor, you wanna come or stay here?”

Hesitant, Lou looked between Debbie and the masses of bodies moving to the music before giving her a sly wink. “I think I’ll just stay here. Don’t take too long, tho, or your ride will drive off without you.”

With the music cranked up to 11, she couldn’t hear Debbie’s laugh, yet the squeeze she gave her lower arm probably had the same effect to her nervous system. Watching her brown head vanishing in the crowd, she blindly ordered another virgin cuba libre. If they hadn’t come there with her bike, she’d just skip the “virgin” part to whitewash the stale taste the whole scene had left  in her mouth.

After what felt like ages, Debbie reappeared with a grin that was not quite reaching her eyes and pulled her off her stool to the coatroom.

If Lou noticed her clinging more tightly than usual to her arm as they left the club, she didn’t comment on it.

 

 

v.

Tammy watched Debbie leave their booth for the bathroom and almost pounced on Lou opposite her.

“Has the day finally arrived and you two figured your shit out or did it get even worse?”

Suppressing the instant need to strangle the woman right then and there, the Australian pinched the bridge of her nose, hard. “Please tell me you’re not on that you’re-actually-a-couple-shit as well?”

“Oh, Debbie didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” She knew she wouldn’t like where this was going.

“I already asked her about you two aaaaages ago.”

Yep, she really didn’t like it. “Then why are you asking _me_ now?”

Tammy shrugged noncommittally. “Cos she’d maybe make a go for my head again.”

“She’s a smart girl.”

“And I’m smart enough to know you didn’t answer my question.”

“Boohoo you caught me” Lou replied flatly, twirling the straw of her drink between her fingers.

“Aw cut the crap, Miller. Something has changed in the way you act around each other and I wanna know why.”

“What are you, the human interaction police?” What the hell was taking Debbie so long?

“You’re exhausting.”

“Right back at ya.”

“Okay, to say it with the wise words of *NSYNC, quit playing games with my heart and tell me, please.”

Lou couldn’t help but snort - and relent after all. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but we’re still not together.”

“You didn’t even fuck?”

“My God, Tammy!” Immediately Lou’s eyes flitted to the direction of the bathroom to see if the Ocean was still amiss.

“What, it would totally explain the newfound awkwardness.”

“You know what’d be really awkward?”

Glinting eyes, Tammy leaned in and propped up her head on her hands. “Sounds promising, do tell.”

“Me having to explain to Debbie when she comes back why our mutual friend has a straw rammed through her throat, rendering her a mute for the rest of her life.”

Abandoning her position, Tammy leaned back again and crossed her arms in front of her chest, effectively bringing some distance between them. “Yeah, that’d be super awkward. Also, not much of a fan of that whole violence thing.”

“So we got a mutual understanding here?”

“Still not a fan, but yes.”

“Perfect.”

The fake innocent smile Lou shot her made her want to swat it off her face, but she refrained from it as the Australian’s expression slowly shifted to a softer and more subdued grin. Looking over her shoulder, her suspicions were confirmed - Debbie was returning.

It took Tammy everything to keep from rolling her eyes too much.

 

 

vi.

This was _not_ how it had been supposed to go.

“Come on, Deb! Faster!”

“I, I can’t with the- these shoes!”

Whatever Lou grumbled in response was drowned out by the icy air whipping at her face and the blood rushing in her ears. Before she could ask for a repetition, the blonde had grabbed her hand and was pulling her along until they reached a rather dark corner in a park five blocks down.

Without letting go of each other, both women tried to catch their breaths - Debbie more so than Lou, she really had to work on her stamina -, the Ocean resting her forehead on Lou’s shoulder for a moment. An obviously drunk man stumbled past them, but they didn’t pay much attention to him. Until...

“Fucking dykes!”

For a second, they didn’t even realise the slur was directed at them, still running high on adrenaline, but then it hit them and Lou’s whole body tensed. Eyes narrowed, she turned to face him.

“What did you just say?”

When Lou let go of her hand and took on a fighting stance, Debbie had half a mind to grab her arm, tightly, and pull her back, albeit only a few inches. She succeeded catching her eyes, speaking quietly. “Don’t, please. I wanna see that piece of shit bleed as much as you do, but we can’t draw attention to ourselves right now.”

In the meantime, the guy had turned around and took them in as much as his bleary eyes would allow, leering openly. “You go’ a problem, dyke? Wan’ me to fuck ya n ya girl straight again?”

Lou was trying really hard to not charge at this bastard, when suddenly Debbie’s iron grip on her arm loosened and she stepped forward, eyes cold as steel and jaw set hard as stone. “Forget what I just said.”

She didn’t leave the guy much time to react before her fist collided with is jaw, a very satisfying sound resonating through the park,  and he fell to the ground, groaning.

Lou whistled, clearly impressed. “Damn, babe, where’d you hide _that_ side of you all those years?”

With a raised eyebrow, Debbie watched as he tried to scramble back to his feet but failed miserably, absentmindedly rubbing her now sore knuckles. “In the deep and uncharted pits of anger and frustration buried inside me.”

“That’s kinda hot.”

“Glad you think so.”

If someone asked her why she decided to take Lou’s hand again as they walked off, she’d say it was just to spite that dickhead. Nobody needed to know about the calming effect the blonde’s warm skin had on her fluttering nerves.

 

 

vii.

“57!”

Thud. Another stamp on the bingo card. Well, on one or more of the fake ones they kept hidden under the table, anyway. As inconspicuously as she could, Lou riffled through the stack to check their chances.

Off to their left on the opposite side of their table, an older couple was seated, the woman throwing glances their way ever so often. This had been going on for a while now and It made her feel uneasy, to say the least. Had they been made?

When Debbie didn’t react to her wordless tries to get her attention, Lou covered her hand on the table with her own, squeezing tightly. Finally she caught the Ocean’s eyes, and with intent not to be heard by anyone, she leaned in so close that her lips almost touched Debbie’s skin, eliciting a shiver from her.

“I think -”

Her train of thought derailed when she heard the women talking to her husband with the worst stage-whisper she’d ever heard.

“Harold, they’re lesbians!”

She didn’t know if she should be relieved or annoyed. People presuming they were a couple had become a constant background noise she could ignore on her best of days, but today wasn’t one of those. Instead of finishing her sentence like she had planned it, she switched gears, squeezing the brunette’s hand again.

“I think we’re done for today, don’t you?”

Debbie barely showed any reaction, just nodded after two beats of silence, and rose from her seat. She was almost out the door by the time Lou had managed to silently stuff the cards away.

A pained sigh left Lou’s lips. Something had changed the past weeks. Sure, they were still sticking and working well together like all those years before, but something had shifted first in Debbie’s eyes, then in her whole demeanor. Unhappiness was radiating off her like tangible waves and by now Lou was ready to sink into her very own depths of despair since she didn’t know what to do to make it better. Because - surprise - the brunette just wouldn’t talk.

Catching up to her at her bike, Lou regarded her silently before unlocking the helmets she’d chained to it, trying to keep her voice as nonchalant as she could.

“How ‘bout I cook your favourite tonight?”

That finally made the corners of Debbie’s mouth quirk up before her face disappeared under the helmet. “I’d like that.”

It was something, at least.

 

 

 

i.

It turned out to be their sheer dumb luck that they hadn’t bothered taking their clothes off this time. Still, it was an annoying interruption when Tammy barged in on them while Lou was on top of her with her mouth on her nipple and her hand doing delicious things inside her pants. Groaning - not from pleasure now -, Debbie swatted at the blonde, who in turn released her breast with an obscene noise and gave Tammy her deadliest scowl.

“Your key-carrying rights are revoked with immediate effect.”

If the younger woman was fazed by the picture in front of her, she didn’t show it. “I have two things to say: One, fucking finally! Or finally fucking, I don’t care. Two, okay, I do care, cos I really didn’t need to see this!”

Debbie just covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “Of all the people in the world, of course it had to be you to barge in here right now!”

“I wish I could tell you it’s just me, but…” Instantly, five other heads popped up around the corner.

“Well, that’s hot. Don’t mind us, just keep going.”

Scandalised, Rose pinched the actress’ upper arm. “Daphne!”

“What, I think I’m speaking on behalf of the team here.”

Tammy just looked over her shoulder, giving Daphne a flat look. “No, you’re really not.”

“So what’s the big fuss ‘bout our parents gettin’ it on?”

Like a proud mother - which was definitely weird considering the circumstances - the blonde slung her arm around Constance’s shoulder. “Well, you see, I don’t know how long this has been going on, but it’s a very recent development.”

“No way, you lyin’, sis!” Even Nine Ball was intrigued now.

“How come they never said anything when we called them wives or parents or whatever?”

Tammy shrugged noncommittally at Amita. “They’ve had to listen to stuff like that for more than 25 years now, they probably blank out some signal words automatically. Or they didn’t listen at all cos they were busy making fuck-me-eyes at each other.”

“Excuse me, but we’re still here!”

Debbie’s outcry finally turned everyone’s attention back to the two women on the sofa, who had by now managed to cover themselves up again and regarded the group with matching scowls.

“Great. Now that everyone had a chance to say something without having been asked _at all_ , could you leave again?”

A complete air of nonchalance around her, Constance flopped down right beside Lou and gave her a toothy grin. “Nope, sorry, it’s Taco Tuesday and it’s your turn to pay.”

“We always pay, which we really should change considering the money on everyone’s bank account” Lou replied with a sigh and got up to fetch the phone.

Tammy sat down on the far end of the couch after eyeing it suspiciously for any kind of stains she really didn’t want to sit on, threatening amiably. “FYI, we’ll have another conversation once the kids are tucked in, you can’t escape me!”

Raising an eyebrow at the Australian, a silent conversation ensued before Debbie turned back to Tammy. “Under one condition.”

“That is?”

Giving her a look that left no room for complaints, Lou threw the phone at her. “You pay.”

 


	4. 5 times Lou wore the strap on and 1 time Debbie did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: hella E, strap-on (duh), shameless smut, dom/sub dynamics, Debbie is a brat, praise kink, orgasm denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anon. (the last part is probably not what you had in mind, but... sorry not sorry I guess :D)
> 
>  
> 
> I promised someone the strap before sundown and I'm a gal of my word, so here we are :D
> 
> Furthermore, big shout out to syd who saw me doubting my writing yesterday and immediately slid into my dm's to gently slap me over the head. Part iv is for you, love ;)

i.

She had laughed the moment she had stood in the aisle and held it in her hands for the first time, and she was still laughing now as she tried it on, she just couldn’t help it. Lips pressed tightly together, Lou stood in front of the full length mirror and regarded her reflection. Contemplating, she cocked her hip from one side to the other and assessed the situation.

Then she doubled over laughing. Again.

However, this only made matters worse, as the strap-on dildo between her legs bounced with every movement of her body, sending her into a laughing spiral until tears streamed down her face. She was only interrupted when a knock sounded at the door.

“What the hell are you doing in there? If it’s that funny I wanna know, too!”

Wiping the tears from her face and being still unable to stop chuckling, she shouted right back. “Gimme a sec!” Now this was gonna be fun.

Adjusting the harness over her pants again, Lou slammed the door open and posed in the doorframe. Seconds passed in silence as Debbie’s eyes wandered down from her face to the purple cock protruding proudly from her crotch and stayed there. Finally, she found her voice again.

“What the everloving fuck?”

Just for the fun of it, Lou wiggled a bit, sending both of them into fits of laughter.

Snorting, Debbie covered her eyes to regain some sense of composure. “Do I want to know the explanation to this or rather not?”

When she peeked between her fingers, she saw the blonde unbuckling the harness and throwing it onto the bed behind her, cheeks still flushed from laughing. “Sharon asked if we could try using a strap-on.”

Of course. “I really hope for your girlfriend you won’t spend your night lying on the floor cos you can’t stop laughing.”

Lou just threw a sly wink at her. “And even if, she can still ride me like that. These things are just so practical.”

Debbie pulled a face. “Please tell me you’ll be heading over to hers for that.”

“Of course, she doesn’t have to put up with a roommate who gets blushy at the slightest sound from the bedroom.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, fuck her. Tonight. All night.” Blowing the Ocean a kiss, Lou disappeared into the bedroom again to get ready.

At the door falling shut in her face, Debbie huffed quietly to herself. “Great, what am I gonna do with _that_ mental image now?”

 

 

ii.

The way her name fell softly from Debbie’s lips caught her attention and Lou looked up at her from between her legs. “Yes, baby?”

A flush that was not from arousal covered the Ocean’s cheeks and her eyes refused to meet Lou’s. “Do you… by any chance... stillhavethatstraponfrombackthen?”

Lou waited her out in the hope she’d repeat herself, but the Ocean only flushed harder under her gaze. It took a second, then her brain finally managed to disentangle the string of words. With a grin on her face, Lou pressed a kiss to the inside of Debbie’s thigh and got up to rummage through the drawers.

Finding the strap-on, she held it out, dangling the toy from one finger. “You mean that one?”

If Debbie were able to blush even more, she’d certainly do it in that moment. Instead, she made an aborted motion to cover her face with her hands and nodded silently.

“Aww baby, why so shy? If you want me to fuck you with it just say so.”

“I-”

“Yes?”

“Iwantyoutofuckmewithit.”

Lou shook her head fondly at the unusual shyness and put on the harness under Debbie’s wide-eyed stare. Kneeling back on the mattress between the Ocean’s spread legs, the blonde held her dark gaze and slid one finger through Debbie’s folds and the still more than present wetness.

“Remember the first time you saw me with it and laughed? I’m glad to see things have changed in that regard”, she paused a moment and contemplated how to best go about it, then patted Debbie’s leg, “up with you, I’ll let you have this.”

When Lou laid down next to her and motioned her to sit on top of her, the Ocean finally caught up and straddled the blonde’s hip with her thighs while Lou lubed up the dildo. Before pulling her right over the cock, she leaned up again and kissed her fiercely.

“Okay baby, take your time, go as fast or slow as you like.”

Debbie bit her lip, placed her hands on Lou’s shoulders to steady herself and sank down slowly. Short gasps punched past her lips with every inch, the toy filling her up bit by bit. She wasn’t used to being stretched like this anymore, but God, had she missed it. Unhurriedly, she began to rock her hips.

Lou watched the whole process and the change in Debbie’s expressions with awe. Actually, she had waited for her to bring the strap up for a while now, knowing full well she’d enjoy it. And looking up at her now, her brows furrowed in concentration and low moans falling from her lips with every thrust, Lou was more than glad the day had finally arrived.

 

 

iii.

“Do you need to sit like that?”

Lou rolled her head to the side, eyebrows raised questioningly and disappearing behind newly cut bangs. “Since when do you care?”

“Since you’ve decided it’d be a good idea to wear the strap under these pants and spread your legs as wide as humanly possible while we’re sitting in the goddamn subway!” Debbie hissed lowly.

“It _is_ a good idea, you know I love to fuck with people’s minds. And lucky for you, we’re at our stop.”

Gracefully as if she had never done anything else, the blonde slid out of her seat and then the door, leaving Debbie to deal with the weird looks the other passengers were still casting their general direction.

When she caught up with her at the surface, she punched Lou in the shoulder. “I hate you.”

Not caring a bit for the assault, the Australian took her hand. “Nah, you don’t. So, where’d you want to go?”

Debbie turned them both around. “Two blocks down that way, I wanna check out that new boutique.”

“Check out or _check out_?”

Debbie rolled her eyes while guiding them into the right direction. “First the one, then maybe the other.”

“Thought as much.”

Reaching the little shop with receiving only few weirded out looks, they filed inside and Debbie immediately began browsing the racks for anything pretty or at least worth stealing. She was completely preoccupied with feeling the fabrics of the dresses, when the whispering of a nearby couple reached her ears.

She didn’t need to listen for long to know they were talking about Lou - who had spent her time in a corner close to the changing rooms because the things around clearly weren’t her style - and the things leaving their mouths made her blood boil. When she was just about to offer them her two cents on the matter, the blonde waved her over.

“I can see you fuming from a mile away, just ignore these dickheads.”

“But-”

With a hand on the small of her back, Lou moved her into the dressing room area. “No buts. Try on that dress instead, it seems pretty.”

She should’ve known immediately that something was slightly off. Her suspicions were confirmed when Lou followed her into the booth, directly pressing up behind her so she could do nothing but face the wall. An involuntary groan escaped her at the hardness pushing against her.

A low growl reached her ears as nimble fingers popped open her fly. “Still feeling uncomfortable with me packing in public?”

“Kinda. I don’t want to get kicked out, I find I actually like this shop!” Against her words, Debbie pressed her by now bare ass back into Lou.

“Well, then we’ll have to make this quick and quiet, honey.”

 

 

iv.

With a thud, Debbie’s upper body hit the kitchen counter and she was just fast enough to soften the impact with her hands. Instantly, her dress was pulled up over her ass and her thong to the side, and she jerked at the feeling of a hand between her legs.

“My my, does fighting with me really make you that wet, darling? You’re practically dripping.”

Debbie tried to use all her strength to get back up again, but Lou was pinning her down effectively by leaning her body weight into the arm she was pressing down on her shoulders from behind. The blonde tutted so close to her ear she could almost feel the growl that came with it. “Oh no, I don’t think so. You chose the wrong day to pull off this shit.”

Straining her ears, she could hear Lou opening her zipper and then something solid pressing against her ass cheeks. A gasp tumbled off her lips and her knees almost gave out at the realisation of what was to come.

She should feel embarrassed at how easy the strap slid into her without much of preparation, however she couldn’t really care, her mind going deliciously blank at the feeling of being filled in one go like that. Lou didn’t leave her much time to adjust - not that she needed it anyway - and immediately set a hard and fast rhythm.

“Fuck!”

Faltering for just a second, the blonde leaned her whole body onto her at the next hard thrust, pinning Debbie’s wrists down with one hand and pushing the two fingers of the other past her lips.

“I think you’ve said enough already, don’t you agree?”

She could taste the remnants of herself on Lou’s fingers and with the bit of fight left in her, bit down as a warning. This earned her a bite of equal measure to the sensitive skin on her neck and her hips bucked up at their own accord.

With the way Lou’s hips snapped relentlessly into her, it didn’t take long for Debbie to tether close to the edge and desperate whines pushed past the fingers in her mouth, her legs twitching ever so often.

“Count yourself lucky I’m still feeling nice after everything.” Lou hadn’t even finished her sentence completely before she removed her spit covered fingers from between Debbie’s lips and began circling her clit in the same rhythm as her thrusts. A loud keen was ripped from the Ocean’s throat when her orgasm hit her with a vengeance and Lou had to work to keep them both upright.

She carefully pulled the cock out of her, all harshness gone for the moment, and pressed a soft kiss right between Debbie’s shoulder blades.

“All good now, babe?”

Still panting, Debbie looked over her shoulder, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Maybe I should provoke you more often when you’re packing.”

Rolling her eyes, Lou gave her ass a smack. “That was _not_ the point I was trying to make here.”

 

 

v.

Debbie poked her head into the bedroom. “Why are you taking so long?”

“I don’t know in which direction to dress.”

“It’s a gender-bend party and you’re a woman, Lou. It’s not that hard actually.”

Deep frowns of frustration on her face, Lou turned away from the closet to face her. “May I remind you of the last times? First time I dressed as a man and got told I wasn’t wearing a costume. Then I actually wore a dress-”

“Oh I remember, that was both weird and hot.”

“-and beside the point - and I got told the same damn thing.” She let her arms fall to her sides defeatedly.

Pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her neck, Debbie grabbed a short feel of Lou’s boxer-clad butt and walked to the door again. “You’ll think of something. But make it quick.”

 

Gender-bend parties were fun to attend for multiple reasons. From a business perspective it offered easy money since it usually harboured people wearing clothes they weren’t accustomed to and thus they were carrying their wallets in places they didn’t have a natural awareness for. It was like taking candy from a baby, honestly. Now, from Debbie’s personal perspective it offered visual gems like Lou in a skin-tight dress (like last time) or at the very least a very amusing confused expression on the blonde’s face every time she was seeing her with her glued on fake beard.

“I got 255 bucks so far and at least four comments on how I was supposed to dress like the opposite gender, not like myself.”

“Ha, 270 bucks! And I don’t get it, how can’t they see you’re actually a woman?”

“I real-”, at once, something shifted in Lou’s eyes and she groaned, “oh I get it now.”

“What?”

In lieu of replying, the blonde took her hand, pulled her out of the crowd into a dark corner close to the exit, and pressed her against the wall using her body. With one swift movement - and a resulting low hiss from Debbie - Lou ripped the beard off her face before kissing her with a fever. Instinctively, the Ocean reciprocated and clasped her hands behind Lou’s neck, pulling her closer and humming contentedly.

She wasn’t about to complain, but she wasn’t exactly sure what this had to do with Lou’s epiphany either until she felt something hard between her legs and she gasped into their kiss.

“Oh. Oh, I see.”

 

 

 

i.

“You’ve been an awful tease the whole day”, Lou growled, not deterred one single bit by the innocent look Debbie gave her from her place on the bed.

“Hands on the headboard. If I see you letting go for just a second, I will tie you up. Understood?”

Immediately, Debbie complied, knuckles turning white with how hard she was gripping the bars. Satisfied by the image in front of her - the Ocean only clad in her underwear, eyes almost black already, looking at her with a hint of impatience right underneath the surface - she went over to the dresser.

For a moment, she stood in front of the opened drawer, contemplating which course of action to take. Her eyes wandered over an assortment of possibilities before they finally stopped, finding just the right way to make the Ocean pay for her antics. Their usual and simple strap-on in hand, she turned back to the bed where Debbie was waiting (im)patiently, hands still grasping the bars on the headboard. At the sight of the toy in Lou’s hand, she subconsciously licked her lips in anticipation.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde, and countering this with a dark smirk of her own, she knelt down onto the mattress. Never breaking eye contact, she took one of Debbie’s legs after the other and put them through the harness. She didn’t bother taking off the Ocean’s panties, she deserved only the minimum of friction in her opinion after being such a brat since waking up.

Revelling in the way Debbie’s expression changed from confusion to understanding to shock, she pulled the straps tight and secure around her hips.

“Wha-”

“No complaining, no talking back, or I will gag you”, seeing the defiant glint in her brown eyes, she added, “and you won’t be allowed to come for at least a week.”

Now, that suffocated any protest on her tongue very quickly. Debbie let her head fall back onto the pillow, whining quietly, suffering written all over her face. This was definitely not how she had pictured the evening to turn out.

This was a sight for sore eyes. Lou couldn’t remember the last time Debbie had been wearing the strap-on, but she was pretty sure it hadn’t been like this. Quickly, she undressed herself, her tight pants had only increased the heat between her legs with every move she’d made, and went to straddle Debbie’s hips.

She contemplated the purple cock in front of her for a second, then grabbed the lube on the nightstand. As she wasn’t that much of a fan of that kind of penetration for herself, they rarely did it this way round and Lou wasn’t particularly used to the stretch that would come with it. She might’ve been terribly wet already, but she wasn’t taking any chances.

During all this, Debbie had kept her eyes screwed shut in frustration. But Lou was having none of that and bit Debbie’s exposed neck to get her attention.

“Look at me.”

It took a second, yet finally the Ocean reluctantly cracked up one, then two eyes, just to close them again with a whine as she saw Lou sinking down onto the strap with a quiet gasp. The blonde allowed herself a moment to adjust to the unfamiliar feeling, catching her breath, before she held Debbie’s jaw firmly between her fingers, daring her to look at her again.

“You will not move your hips, you will stay still like a good girl, and you will look at me the whole time while I fuck myself on you. Understood?”

It took all of her willpower to not buck up at Lou’s words and it seemed like her ability to speak was failing her as well, so she could do nothing but to swallow the lump in her throat and nod with wide eyes.

Once Lou was finally satisfied, she started to move. Steadying herself on Debbie’s rib cage - eliciting a gasp at the simple touch on the way - she let the toy slide out of herself slowly before slamming back down with more force.

She kept up a fast rhythm, the low wails and desperation in Debbie’s eyes as they flitted back and forth from her face to her cunt, where the cock was sliding in and out with an obscene noise, urging her on. From the way Debbie gripped the headboard and her thighs twitched randomly, Lou knew she was trying very hard to adhere to the rules and not chase any kind of friction for herself. It didn’t stop her from begging, however.

“Please, please let me at least touch you, please, Lou, pl-”

Oh, how she loved hearing her plead. Still, only a hoarse and firm _No._ made it past her gritted teeth.

Letting her hand wander down to her clit - accompanied by a series of whines and keens from Debbie -, she started drawing tight circles around the hard nub, ripping a low moan from her own throat. Her movements faltered at the onslaught of sensations, leading to a surprised gasp from the woman under her as the harness subsequently rubbed her just right for a fleeting moment, and she tipped herself over the edge, grinding down hard on the toy to prolong her pleasure.

Slowly coming down from her high, still panting heavily, Lou caught Debbie’s eyes again, now completely black, and couldn’t suppress the devilish grin at her utter desperation. Her thighs were burning when she lifted herself off the cock and the bed after a quick kiss to the Ocean’s forehead.

“You’ve been such a good girl, you can let go now.”

Instantly, Debbie let her hands fall to her sides with a groan. Slowly, Lou took first one, then the other hand between her own and carefully massaged her fingers. “Hurting?”

When she spoke up, Debbie’s voice was hoarse from all the sounds she’d tried to stifle. “Nah, I’m good, I think... Apart from _something else_ , of course.”

Satisfied with her response, Lou removed her hands and grabbed her clothes, putting them on piece by piece under Debbie’s confused gaze.

“Wait, what about…”

Lou looked up from where she was buckling up her belt, fake innocence written all over her face. “What about…? Oh, you? Sorry, baby, I gotta get back to the club”, she stood in front of Debbie, tilting her head up with two fingers under her chin to press a chaste kiss to her lips, “but I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, if the pics you sent me earlier are anything to go by.”

Throwing one last wink into Debbie’s direction, she walked out and left the clearly baffled Ocean behind, her frustrated wail being the last thing she heard before she closed the bedroom door.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you liked it!
> 
> I'm still open for prompts, just hmu on tumblr at how-to-sit-gay :)


End file.
